#5 Seven Deadly Sins - Surprise Me Bff 218

Surprise Me  BFF 218

Seven Deadly Sins #5     The Final Blow

“A  DAGGER?  Are ya kiddin’ me? What in the world am I supposed to do with a short little dagger.  I can’t wait to meet up with some bad guy and whip out a dagger.  I might as well be using a butter knife.  Who fights with a dagger these days? Didn’t that go outta style when they invented the gun?” Harry was carrying on about his latest “gift” from our ancestor, Hera.  He hauls it straight up into the air and tries to flail it around.  It’s a broadsword and rather heavy.

“Well, let’s face it Harry, it’s what she knows.” I can barely suppress my giggles.  “If you want, I’ll trade you for this chastity belt!” We both laughed as I waggled my behind at him. We had been laughing about the chastity belt for days.  How would I ever be able to use a chastity belt as a weapon?  If not a weapon, then why was she so worried that Lust would be a distraction?

 “I’m worried.  Neither of us knows how to use these weapons.  I cannot imagine how that chastity belt is going to help you in a fight!  I know, I know, perhaps it is that in her day ‘to the victor goes the spoils’ and she is protecting you, but really?”  Harry’s mood quickly turned from very solemn.

“I’m just glad we don’t have to find those three witches Perseus did.  You know the ones who were essentially blind but shared the eye they passed around?  Gross.   Nor do we have to slay Medusa, thank you Perseus!  But we do have to stop Poseidon and his lackey, Apathy.  How ya gonna do that, cuz?”  Angela rested her hand on his shoulder as she spoke to him.  Trying to reassure Harry, once he was wound  up, was like trying to talk a cat out of a tree.  

“Why don’t you finish packing?  It’ll take your mind off things for a few.”  And outta my hair for a few, Angela thought.  We need to get out this house.  We have to keep our ears and eyes open.

Gluttony had reminded them time and again, “When the time arises to utilize your gifts in battle, you will know what to do.”  That’s swell that we will know what to do…but are we in shape enough to get it done?  Angela and Harry decided to get some physical conditioning in with their new implements.  After all in the thick of battle, your body can’t remember how to use something it’s never used.  Hanging around Gluttony hadn’t done any favors for her waist line.  Gluttony always smelled of thier favorite dish; one day it might be comfort food like mac and cheese and another day it might be carrot cake or chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven.  Just thinking about Gluttony made everyone’s mouth water.

What had stopped them?  Pride.  Pride came over and clucked his tongue.  He looked them both up and down as though they were cheap imitation furs.  “Overindulging I see.  That will surely help in a fight.  Probably the other side, but it will help none the less.”  He seemed to stick his nose even further into the air as he spun around and strode away.  Sadly, he was right.  Both Angela and Harry had become shaped more like weebles than warriors.  (weebles wobble but they don’t fall down….)

Filled with dread, gym bags slung over their shoulders, they walked warily into the gym.  Conscious of their weight gain, they both wore baggy sweat pants and t-shirts, sporting.  Hopping along, lacing up her new bright orange running shoes, Angela gasped at the site before her.

There, already on the treadmills, were the seven deadly sins.  All of them, even Gluttony.  They each moved at a different rate of speed, naturally.  Pride and Wrath were obviously in some sort of competition, they both were at a full speed run.  Harry quipped as he passed them, “You do realize, you aren’t actually going anywhere.”  Rather than a nod of acknowledgment, both gave Harry the stink eye. 

Since all of the treadmills were occupied, in this room, Angela moved to the next room to try to begin her workout.  She walked into the next room, preoccupied with her bottled water and cell phone, trying to decide if she wanted to carry them in her pocket or risk forgetting them at the gym when she left. 

Looking up, Angela stopped short.  There were seven entities with too much resemblance of the Seven Deadly to be coincidence.  They all were looking at her as she stood there in the doorway with her mouth hanging open. 

She snapped her mouth shut and decided to take up one of the empty treadmills.  Walking at a mildly brisk pace, she ventured a conversation.  “Hi, I’m Angela.  And you are?”

“Furry.” The copper haired woman next to her replied.  “And these are my friends, Covetness, Avarice, Egoism, Prejudice, Pantophagy and of course you have already met Apathy.”    Her smile became an ugly sneer.  The last time Angela and Harry had met up with any of the “Alternate Seven”, they had been whisked away in her Camaro.  Now they were here, at the gym, separated and no obvious means of escape.  Her stomach started to bunch.

Just as Angela was looking for the nearest garbage can to leave her lunch, the “Brat Brigade” came bursting through the doors.  A gaggle of geese don’t make as much noise or commotion as five, unruly, unsupervised preteens. Jostling and shoving one another, the five boys entered the workout room with a wave of youthful exuberance.  The heat of their pent up energy radiated from them as they hopped on stationery bikes, or sat on the rowing machine.  One of the young boys grabbed the television remote control, snapping his bubble gum, grinning like a lizard, “Mind?” One word, that was all he said and changed the channel from the news to Sponge Bob Square Pants.  All five of the kids broke into song along with the cartoon characters.;

 “Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain"
I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN"
Ohh... 
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea 
"Spongebob squarepants"
Absorbant and yellow and porous is he 
"Spongebob Squarepants"
If nautical nonsense be something you wish 
"Spongebob Squarepants"
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish 
"Spongebob Squarepants"
READY
Spongebob squarepants
Spongebob squarepants
Spongebob squarepants

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! AH AHH AHH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHH...

At the top of their lungs.  Around mouths filled with an assortment of candies and gum, they howled with one another and the television.  Angela hazard a sidelong glance at the “Alternate Seven”.

The seven alternate Deadly Sins were mesmerized.  Quite obviously they had never seen male adolescence during its finest hour.  Crotches were grabbed, titties were twisted, underarm farts were released with abandon and threats of slinging boogers fill the air. Again, Angela thought Brat Brigade.

As Angela feigned concern, she wove her way to the middle of the crowd and then on to the other side and out the door.  She startled Harry who was crouched over, dagger in hand, ready to pounce through the door.  They ran, to the other workout room.  Blurting out to the Deadly Seven that the Alternate Seven were just in the next room.

The Deadly Seven quickly ran to the other room, as they entered the Brat Brigade seemed to melt and disappear completely. The last to leave waved to Angela and mouthed the words, “Mother Hera.”  Confirming to Angela that the kids were actually sent by the Goddess.  Hera Goddess of Marriage and the Birth of Children.  Turning her head upward, Angela whispered a fervent “thank you.”

The fight which ensued was a blur to those not a participant.  Swords and other implements of harm were drawn by parties on both sides.  It seemed to Angela that the two counterparts squared off against one another; Egoism and Pride, Envy and Prejudice, Greed and Avarice, Wrath against Fury, Lust with Covetness, Gluttony and Pantophagy and of course Sloth and Apathy. 

Swords flashed in the light of the overhead fluorescents.  Each pair seemed equally suited as well as equally armed. Pride and Egoism carried both a long thin rapier in one hand and the short straight blade of a  tanto in the other.  With the flourish of expert swordsmen, theirs was to be a fight of not just swords, but of style.

Circling one another Envy and Prejudice each pointed their slender curved scimitar at one another. Slicing and thrusting in the dance of death. Lust and Covetness waved their katara at one another. The vengeful blade of the cuckold. Their thrust and parry seemed a bit awkward since the their blades accustomed use is in the back.  Greed and Avarice held the small curved blade of the Japanese tachi, bowing to one another as they began.

With quick dispatch Fury and Wrath each held their broad sword high in both hands.  Wrath made the exquisite lunge rending Fury from head to toe.  In a cry sounding as much filled with amazement as anger, Fury turned into a wisp and was inhaled by Wrath.  Shock and surprise pushed Wrath down to sit with amazement.

Gluttony and Pantophagy both were swinging massive spiked maces at one another.  Their oversized frames absorbed the blows.  The loud spat of body absorbing the shock of the mace was loud enough to rattle the windows.

 With adrenaline pumping, ducking beneath the Harry and Angela jumped into the fray.  Much to Harry’s joy, his small concealable dagger became which ever implement of destruction he needed at the moment. Jumping on the back of Apathy’s back, his blade turned into the staff Apathy and Sloth were using on one another.

Angela’s chastity belt, was actually the girdle Hera had taken from Aphrodite.  Angela’s belt could quite literally transform her into the likeness of other beings, or assist her in tall leaps, or buoy her courage as it faltered.  As this surprising knowledge  began to sink into her thought process, she too sought to assist her companions. 

As each of the Seven Deadly Sins overcame their individual counterpart, they absorbed the alternate.  Wisps of colored smoke, aligned with their specific sin blew into the mouths of the victor.  Each of the Seven Deadly had won their bouts, with exception of Sloth and Apathy.  Apathy, the instigator of the whole ordeal.  Apathy and Sloth still stood toe-to-toe with staffs in hand, but no longer swinging them at one another.  With a shrug of his shoulders, Apathy became another wisp and flew into Sloth.  Harry tumbled to the floor, sputtering.

Gulping air, Harry demanded to know what had just happened and why.  Sitting on one of the stationery bikes, Pride attempted to explain, “Each of the Alternate Sins are actually a part of each of us.  As we defeated them, we absorbed them back into our definition.” 

“Huh?” Harry never was the sharpest blade in the armory.

“Poseidon thought to contest the power of Olympus.  He thought if he took an aspect of each of the Seven Deadly Sins and made those aspects the main description of each of us, we would no longer exist but as an aspect of the Alternate.  Because the Alternate bowed to Poseidon, he could then rule how humans behave.  The Gods who can dictate human behavior have the most power.  If humans had become Apathetic they would not care and then would pray to Poseidon and could make him stronger than even Zeus”

“How in the world did they slice off an aspect of you?”  Angela had a look of alarm. “Can he or they or whatever do this anytime they want?”

“This was a first and should be the last.  We won’t allow it to happen again. They went after Sloth due to the nature of Sloth;  Seeing, but not taking action or slow to take action.  However, the portion which was taken was Apathy: Absence or suppression of emotion.  Slow to take action is not the same as suppressing any feeling.  As the original whole, we always had the upper hand.  With the two of you as our beacon, we were sure to be victorious. This fight with Poseidon may not be over, but for now, this deviant plan has been put to rest.”