"If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay at home." -- James Michener
We lay on the beach tanning. The wind would pick up from time to time, sending miniature siroccos across our blanket spilling sand in our drinks. The gulls turned and begged from above. Small wisps of clouds scurried against the bright sun.
Suddenly the sun is obliterated from the sky! An eerie twilight descended upon our small piece of the tropical island. The wind died. The smell of suntan lotion was heady.
I knew we had chosen just the right spot! I knew it when we first located the white sandy beach. Here was our meal, brought to us. A tourist, all oiled up and ready to cook. Our meal would be ready in no time!
He turned to me with a pout on his handsome face, “But, this is a local. Look at how browned they are. Tough to chew. I was really counting on a northern tourist”. He scuffed the ground with his toe as he pouted.
“Listen”, I began, “You dragged me down here with the promise of a good time. It’ll be great, all the food you can eat. Unlimited buffet, you said.” I waggled my finger at him. “A great human once said; If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay at home. I’m telling you, sometimes you are the sorriest excuse for a sand flea this side of the equator! Now, buck up and dig in! Dinner is served”!