Weird
Food
Blogfest
# 30 Hosted by Daphne Steinberg
“No, no, no.
Stop! You are going to overcook
that thing!” Mother was beginning to
lose patience with me. Grabbing my wrist
she pulled it, along with me, away from the flame. “The meat will be as hard and chewy as shoe
leather. Now keep your skewer further
back and s-l-o-w-l-y cook it.” As she
spoke, her words came out more slowly and her voice took a deeper pitch.
Reluctantly,
I took two steps back sighed and pointed my skewer towards the fire. “What good is cooking over a fire, if it won’t
be done quickly?” I pouted.
“It’s
tradition to cook our meals over the open flame for the October full moon. You are the one who wanted caramel and
chocolate covered bugs. Now, if I’m to
eat that spider you have on your spit, I want it nice and juicy on the
inside. Not all dried out like a raisin. Do that right, or I’ll ask your know it all
cousin to come over here and help us.
She’ll drive us both batty, but the job will be done right.” Mom turned and began skinning the large
snakes she had captured.
“I
think I’m going to be glad when all this celebration is over. Most kids just beg candy on Halloween, we
have to host a whole coven of goofy witches who want to eat the weirdest
things. Who ever heard of eyeball
pudding? I like tapioca, but does it
have to be real birds eyes? I sure did
have to unsocket enough of ‘em! And why
do we always have to have bird feet soup just for Nana Holly? I know she doesn't like it anymore than I
do. All those toenails getting stuck in
my teeth. But, she insists we have it just because of tradition? Cheese!
My
mother simply grunted while she continued to pull the snake out of its
skin. “Can you see the wood pile?” Mom was trying to look around the side of the
tent we had staked up. “I can’t see
around there. Have those boys collected
all the wood? Is there enough? I can’t hear them, they must be up to no
good.”
Just
as Mom was getting to her feet, the boys rounded the side of the tent, yipping
and yelling at the top of their lungs, “Ma, look what we got ya! Just look at ‘im Ma, ain’t he the biggest
thing you've ever seen?”
My
mother put her hands on her hips and tilted her head as though she were really
trying to figure if the toad the boys had found was indeed the biggest she’d
ever seen.
“That
toad will be especially tasty tonight as a pâté for your guests. Why don’t you boys just pop that big ol’ toad
right here into this pot? I think that will be just delightful. Give us something good to eat besides the
bugs your sister is roasting. Thank you boys.”
Wriggling
to get away from the heat, the toad thrashed about making the boys laugh and jump
all the more. “The atmosphere you create
and the foods you serve help create the tradition of the holidays. Halloween has always been my favorite.” Mom smiles at me and I know I will always make
Nana Holly’s birds feet soup for Halloween.
leigh
This was wild!! Very creative! I loved it.
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com
Leigh, though I read this yesterday, after an exhausting two days of storminess, I had no energy left to comment. Now that I'm rested, let me just say, love, love, love it! A unique, super-gross take on my theme. I think you've got the start of a wonderful book here... I'd like to read more. Cheers! :-)
ReplyDeleteI'll stick to my read hot 'normal' food - thank you very much! ;)
ReplyDeleteOh my I like my very plain and uninteresting food even better now. But nicely written.
ReplyDeleteMonster mash