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Monday, October 15, 2012

Insomnia



 Insomnia

Shadows #2


Neck straining, eyes hurting, skin beginning to crawl; I looked up from my computer.  The day shift was beginning to file into the cubic filled room. 

With a glance into the mirror hanging from her cube wall, I smoothed out her hair.  Pressing a thumb to that space on my forehead between my eyes, I attempted to dissipate my screaming head ache and iron out the developing wrinkle.

Working alone on the night shift, I didn’t know most of the people entering now and frankly didn’t care who they are either.  They are simply faces in a crowd.  Names I enter into the computer long after they had gone, when other people are normally sleeping, I am plunking away at my computer. Hunched over a cup of coffee and my paperwork.

I took this job a few years ago.  They advertised an outrageous pay simply for working night.  I decided I could utilize their computer systems for my own devises.  I can’t sleep anyhow, I might as well get paid to be awake.

The man who killed my sister was creating havoc in my life.  I want it stopped and stopped now.   I don’t play victim very well.  I may not have the mind to create the rat maze he calls traps.  He thinks he is a genius because he has enlisted help.  Low lifes, both of them.  The original crazy that took my sister, and now his accomplice.  Neither of them could take a professional quality picture.  Snapping hundreds simply to create an amature rate photograph.   

Thinking about that, I smiled.  I decided I needed to make sure he knows just how little I think he is.  He has to have help.  Weakling.  Tired little man.  I won’t let him get under my skin! I think it’s time to mess with his mind for a while.

The surveillance cameras had been set up on the perimeter of my home for quite a while now.  Motion detector, heat sensitive, night cameras as well as the normal everyday daylight cameras.  I had a system of “red button” alarms set up through the house.  Silent alarms directly to the police station where her good friend Detective Marlow worked.   Traps of all sorts around the house and the ten foot stone fence.  The fence would be higher, but for city regulations.  On top of the fence was a privacy screen, unknown to all but a few, there was an electric fence run through the privacy screen.  I felt very secure in my home.  I should be able to relax and sleep.

Sleep evades me.  It dances this way and that, allowing me short cap naps.  Often my cat naps are less than ten minutes, I awaken with a start.  Eyes flying open.  I am embarrassed to say that I have awakened swinging my fists even when no one was there.  Sparring with myself. 

I stand an stretch, gather my belongings, organize my desk and shut down my computer.  I am nearly ready to move on to the next phase of my day;  double checking the security systems. 

I’ll not become a victim, but to say the stress of these past few years hasn’t taken a toll would be a major lie.  I can’t sleep.  Insomnia. 

Back in 1965, the world’s record was set for sleep deprivation.  A young man went 11 days without catching a single wink.  Eleven days! I hope I never come close.  My four days without sleep is long enough. As I said earlier; my eyes hurt, neck and shoulders are so tight you could bounce a quarter off them, and my skin is beginning to crawl.  I need some serious sleep.

Crawling into my bed, I notice the shadows on my wall, and I am taken back to that day in the mall.  The day the accomplice pushed his way into my life. 

leigh


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