Blog Hop #14 Writers Post
Do you see me there? I’m in the upper left hand side of the photo? Yes, yes, there, you can just make out my foot on the pedal. No, this is not the front line of the racers….we are pretty much at the back of the pack. This was taken shortly before my spill….
You’ve done them, the benefit race. Most are run/walk sort of thing. I and my twin sister Sue thought it would be a “good” thing to do, ride bikes in a benefit ride. I don’t know why I agree to most of what she suggests. I know better. I have learned. And yet, I am addicted to the laughter that ensues every time we “do” something! Sue is riding just behind me….not a good place to keep an instigator….out of eye sight!
No, we aren’t really twin sisters…more like I’m Ethel to her Lucille Ball!! As you can see, she got us matching muumuus…flattering! They do have cool pockets at the side, large enough to stow a bottle in! Not that I would ever do that…back to the race and my spill…
Sue stopped by the other day, she plied me with gifts (she thrives on re-gifting as a way to de-clutter HER house) then asked if I had gotten my flu shot yet. Actually, no I hadn’t. Well, would I please go with her. She said the needle didn’t bother her. She said she didn’t care it if hurt. She said she just hated “taking the time” to go get the shot. Right….not allowing for any excuses. No stuttering, no stammering on her part. I grabbed my purse and said “Ok, let’s go right now”. Low and behold, after a few “Whaddameans?” she acquiesced and we struck off to Walgreens to get our shots.
Sue had come over with her flu shot paperwork already filled out, as I leaned on the Walgreen’s counter filling out my paperwork, she was over rummaging through the Clearance shelves. Proud as a peacock, she ran back to show me her 100 count band aids for $1.00! “I got the last box”, she crowed.
We walked up and down the aisles for a little while, then settled into the “waiting area” chairs. I always imagine those arm rests are just breeding grounds for every germ out there! Anyhow, there was a sweet young thing being flirty with the needle bearing torturer. “I’m just sayin’ my Dad got the flu right after he got the shot last year. Tee-hee-hee”. Her skinny jeans did look good. I leaned over to Sue and whispered, “I don’t know her, but I hate her”.
Instigator that my twin sister is…she said loudly, “I don’t know what you mean, I think those jeans look really good on her”. Yeah, that kind of friend. I just looked away….
We were tee-heeing ourselves when the needle bearing torturer called my name. Well, he didn’t actually call MY name since he mispronounced it and called me Lay…(Leigh is pronounced Lee as in Janet Leigh or Vivian Leigh…) . My mother is from Oklahoma, but she wouldn’t name a daughter a name like Lay! I digress… The young fella became a little flustered when I called Sue over to watch….after a very quick jab, he said I was his first “bleeder”….yeah, ‘cause my jeans weren’t the same cut as the sweet young thing! Ok, so even if they were the same cut, they certainly wouldn’t hang the same!!!! Anyhow, to prove that my sweet twin really didn’t want to go get the shot, she had worn a long sleeve t-shirt that I had to help hold up so she could actually get her shot. She looked at me and said, in her best Kung Fu Master voice, “Grasshopper, you should have relaxed, you should have allowed the serenity to flow within you.” She didn’t bleed. She said it didn’t hurt. I don’t believe her…..
Oh yeah, my spill…..for this particular benefit, we actually plied ourselves…asked other people for donations and everything. Yeah, usually we just show up flip a few bucks and call it a day. This time we really tried. This time we were really proud of ourselves. We talked other people into entrusting US with their $$$$money$$$$! Suckas!!!
Sue is the friend that rearranged Dan’s home, while we were only supposed to be walking his dog, while he was gone to the other side of the state to go shopping with a “date”. And after all the decorating we did, he didn’t even buy us anything…..we were giggling so much, neither of us remembered to take a camera…duh!
Sue belongs to a gang. Yeah, I said a gang. My four-foot nuthin’ red-headed friend is a gang member. They call themselves the Dillard’s. Eight or nine women, of a certain age, who get together several times a year for the sole purpose of reaffirming their friendship. They have given themselves “alter ego” names. Their alternate first names are all different, but to be a part of the Dillard’s, their last names are all Dillard. I know…. And you thought Secrets of the Ya Ya Club was a show…well, this is the real deal. I hope someday one of them writes a book telling us all of their secrets!! I bet they have a handshake and everything!! Ooh la-la! Based on the small excerpts she has shared, they terrorize where ever they go!
Sue recently quit smoking also. No, I didn’t quit just to “be like Sue”. Gee whiz! But, between her and my husband, Bob…..I thought it was the path of least resistance on my part….anyhow, Sue told me she too could smell much better. She came to my house and verified that normal people couldn’t smell the kitty litter box. Thank you Sue! She confessed the smell she can’t get rid of. She has an older dog, Amos. Amos has the worst breath you have ever thought of! He is really pretty old, can’t see, can’t hear….every once in a while he finds a nugget laying in the grass…and eats it!!!! THAT’S how his breath smells!! I’m glad my cats think not using a litter box is barbaric! They may eat a bug now and then…but no NUGGETS!
Oh yeah, my spill….Well, Sue and I decided to actually pedal during the “race”. Like I would actually dart around the race track…those days left a long time ago…hello! So, while making certain all the racers were ahead of us…yes, we checked out more than a few behinds…she pulled a small flask from some secret hidden place in her “biker” outfit. I think she must have been a girl-scout, she is always prepared. We passed the flask back and forth, slogging down the nectar within, when suddenly I hit a gravel patch! Crap, I was holding the flask! Crap, I was losing control! Crap, I was starting to fall over! One handed bike control… one handed flask control…no one was watching the brain!! Good heavens, luckily for my knees (grew up not knowing you weren’t supposed to have skinned up knees) we were barely moving along. I hopped off the bike allowing it to lie down and slide a few feet. But what of the flask?? Well, I spilt a few drops while gaining my balance. Sue said that was my turn, then I swallowed her turn too!