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Sunday, October 23, 2011

Halloween - Haunted Cemetery #3

BFF #134     Haunted Cemetery

Julian and I took our “stances”.  We prepared to battle the eight legged alien creepiness.  Julian is muttering under his breath….I can’t quite hear it, but I am fairly certain it’s something about younger siblings.  I’ve thrown a Love Potion at the thing, thinking it was a ward.  Now we have no idea what direction this alien spider is going to take.  All eight legs came at us with a whirl.  It sounded amazingly like a helicopter, so much that I ducked my head. . . .  

With a gasp, I broke the surface of the egg sack.  I couldn’t believe my eyes!  Or my nose!  What a tumbled, wriggly, gob of stink bomb!  Luckily I hadn’t cut down my nails during routine hygiene, with enough pressure they worked like a sharpened knife.  Finding a thin portion of the egg membrane to claw through was the hard part.  I had to fight off my “new found siblings” to get to the membrane, then keeping them off me while I dug out.  Seems the Love Potion works really well with alien spiders!  Clambering to the top of my new “mom”, I could see Julian’s troubles. 

Julian was dancing, trying to avoid those mandibles Spidey calls her mouth.  It didn’t appear she planned to wrap up my brother for a later snack.   It was amazing.  It was mesmerizing.  This clod of an older brother was dancing with Spidey.  When did he become graceful?  Is that the waltz? With a spider?  Will my cell phone record this?  Maybe I can capture them doing the “jitter bug”!  You tube here I come! Just when I was sorta hoping to see him hanging upside down, paralyzed, with nothing to say….family, it’s politics.

Just then the amulet Scarlet had made for me began to heat up.  I wear it on my upper left arm, that way the thing can monitor my heart beat and supposedly I can talk to it….this is it’s trial run.  I’m thinkin’ it’s a little late in THIS game.  I tend to be the guinea pig who gets to trial her latest inventions.  She says it’s an honor.  I think it’s because since I’m not part of her coven, this is her way of keeping closer tabs on me.  Like I said, it’s family, it’s political.

The spiders that do carry their egg sacks, carry them with their back legs but the sack is actually attached to their “web throwers”, called the spinnerets.  This leaves them with only six legs to move around on.  To compound that,  Julian was taking up two of her front legs and most of her eyes.  Spidey was trying to dance with only four legs.  Not very graceful. 

Inching my way forward, I finally remembered to press the emergency button on my cell phone.  I know I jabbed at it seven or eight times as I crawled the length of her hairy abdomen.  Why the rest of the family was ignoring us was really beginning to bug me.  Spiders aren’t actually bugs, they are arachnids.

Pulling the hairs between her upper set of eyes, moved the alien spider’s focus from Julian to me, just long enough for him to dash to the manager’s office.  Good for Julian, I ‘m thinkin’ not so good for me.  Logan was standing at the door with a worried look on his face.  He held the door open, and I could see him concentrate more on me than on Julian’s mad dash.  Spidey and I had a tango of our own coming up.  I hate spiders.  I really hate big spiders.  I really, really hate big alien spiders.
Logan jumped from the manager’s office, with a sword.  A light saber sword.  Where in the world would he get one of those?! Is this for real or just a toy?!  I’m riding a bucking bronco of an alien spider and Logan has a light saber sword.  Green to be exact.  Pffffuuuubbbb.  Off came a leg!  I guess it’s not a toy. 

I wasn’t certain where the noise was coming from.  I could hear a stead whoosh noise getting closer and louder.  Closer and louder to the point of noise overriding all else.  It sounded like a 747 flying right at us. Bursting through the picture windows, Miah came riding the biggest Robin I had ever seen!  It had to be thirty feet high.  Miah was all crouched like a jockey in the Kentucky Derby.  That bird….that bird…that bird…was gonna EAT the spider with me on its back!  A classic case of good gone bad.

As I was sliding off Spidey’s abdomen, I could see Miah trying to rein the bird in.  I don’t know…which is worse?  A spider you can see it’s webs or a huge bird that may think we are BUGS! The robin tossed Spidey up into the air, catching her in its beak.  Only legs sticking out, even my newfound siblings were already sliding down the birds throat.  I ran, full throttle, to the manager’s office.  Logan had the door open again.  He makes a pretty darn good door-man! 

Miah too was running for the office door.  Miah was shouting some sort of incantation.  He ran to his brothers, they moved to stand in the “triangle”.  Logan and Julian began to follow Miah’s lead with the chant.  It was low and guttural.  Hurts my throat to growl that low.  With each cadence of the chant, they stepped into one another’s place, so that the whole triangle melded clockwise.  With each step, they began chanting louder.  My head began to ache with the noise of the bird gulping down the roaring spider and my brothers carrying on.  Two more moves to the left and Julian looked at me and smiled.  He told me to look out of the office to make sure the robin was “no longer”.  Did he mean no longer a threat or no longer?  Looking out, I did not see the huge bird.  Instead there lay a small skeleton of  a bird, in the middle of the foyer.  I looked at the boys quizzically.

“Scarlet sent me to the pet cemetery.  You know, the one that’s haunted.  The Haunted Cemetery.  She had called upon a restless soul to point out a spider’s nemesis.  The soul showed us the remains of a bird, the skeleton.  First we brought the robin back from the dead as a zombie.  Funny isn’t it, we had a zombie bird!  Then we had to make it grow.  Making a living thing grow to that size would drive it insane, it takes millions of years for evolution to make that type of a change and not drive the living thing mad.” Miah began his explanation.  You how some people are, ask them the time and they will build you a watch?  Well, that’s how Miah is. 

Logan cut in, “So you made a huge bird, it ate the spider and then the three of us sent the bird back from whence it came!  End of story”.

Julian’s turn to break into the explanation, “That’s what took me and Miah so long, bringing that bird back from the dead.  It’s not as easy as you might think it is!”

“Well, I’m glad to hear my family hadn’t forgotten about me.” I started, “But, why Spidey?  Who sent her?  Who released her from her tethers”.
My brothers and I decided we should go meet with Scarlet and get to the bottom of this caper.  The five of us, together, are some bad-assed siblings. Whomever sent Spidey knows how I feel about spiders.  And why hadn’t the agency notified me?  I know I am up to date on my dues. I hate spiders.  I really hate big spiders.  I really, really hate big alien spiders.


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