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Sunday, October 30, 2011

Halloween - Witchy Woman #5

Witchy Woman
BFF #135

Miah was late for the meeting.  He said he couldn’t stand one more hug from those alien types!  We laughed heartily at his expense! Like a big ol’ love lick from a Saint Bernard. Oh, I’ll bet the girls just loved him.  He tastes so good through all that slime…you do know that is what they are doing.  Just like dogs “sniff” each other to know where the other has been and what they have been doing, well this particular planetoid alien slimes you for the same result.  It reduces the need for conversation.  It is just a tad too invasive for my personal space.  Miah, too, had to clean up before he could see his way to inform the rest of us.

Naturally, we had to rehash everything once Miah did arrive.  Mostly for complete information.  Sometimes when relating information, personalities become involved…yeah, I know!  Mine!  Of course, it took a little more time than we should have taken.  Suddenly things just got chaotic!  The floor began to waver, the walls seemed to breath, the windows blinked and I am certain the ceiling bowed ever so much.  Furniture started to swirl.  There was some sort of a vortex and we were already in the middle of it!  There was the smell again…demons.  They had finally found our office.  Crap.  After centuries of spells and wards, the demons had found us and found us unaware! 

Thankfully, I was sprawled across my favorite faded burgundy leather couch petting Scarlet’s cat.  Did I tell you she has a black cat?  How droll.  How like her to live up to the visual expectation.  The cat and I both like this couch. It is so soft and cool to the touch.  When we spun around in that vortex, it was like something out of “The Wizard of Oz”.  I was so glad I got the comfy couch!  I didn’t have my legs dangling over nothing.  No empty space under my feet, because they were firmly dug in under the cushion!  Scarlet had been standing next to the couch, in her I’m the boss hands on her hips way.  I grabbed her and pulled her onto the couch with me. Julian, not so lucky.  He had chosen a stern looking chair with no personality and no cushion.  Landing wasn’t very pleasant event for him!

The five of us, in our varied seating arrangements, landed more softly than I anticipated, yet it was still with quite a thud.  Looking around we are out in the middle of nowhere.  I mean nowhere.  No trees.  No grass.  No buildings.  Just a tan mist for as far as the eye can see.  Nowhere.  And, no one knows we are gone…

Miah is the first to pipe up. “Well, at least we have landed.  From what I can discern, we are currently in a worm hole pocket.  Where this worm hole leads is any bodies guess. From the feel of it, I have never been here before. How about any of you?”  We all nod our heads and murmur agreement.  Wide eyed and worried, we each stay seated lest we fall through the mist underneath us.

Worm holes don’t normally have pockets.  Pockets have to be built and they have to have a builders permit from the intergalactic authorities and they have to be inspected and there is fanfare at their opening and everyone knows about them.  None of us know about this one. Wormholes are a vortex not unlike a black hole.  We can move place to place with worm holes and through time with the black hole.  Time is way more tricky to navigate than worm holes, so we can eliminate aliens from our list of abductors.  Aliens are the only known species who can maneuver the black holes as though they were simply corridors at your local high school.   

Oh great!  I’m nervous and I drank too much mead back at the Coven House….I gotta pee.  How did Superman get through an episode without going to the bathroom?  Did he only “go” while he was Clark Kent? Or did he go while changing in those phone booths?  Guess I’ll never know.  As my thoughts hover on my bodily functions the mist begins to part.  I am stunned by the party who appears.
There were; vampires (vain and all with thick makeup), werewolves (true pack animals will follow anyone/thing they think is the leader), trolls(ornery cusses every one), elves (look out Miah), ogres (not the brightest bulbs in the chandelier), fairies (Blue Belle was not in the group- trap), the players went on and on bringing up the rear of the entourage were the zombies (bullies and enforcers).  I was amazed at the number of factions represented.  Did each of them think they would be “top dog” once humans were destroyed?  Did each of them think they could outwit another faction for some sort of status?  Cheech!  Not what you would call the Mensa Group!  Most “humans” were simply one of these factions under cover.  Most “humans” could be unmasked any time to reveal their true identity, so who was the real parasite?  Humans or the imposters?  Guess we have to think for everyone….

Dressed in a handsome dove gray overcoat and a dapper three piece suit, a demon stepped out of the pack.  He slowly walked over to Scarlet.  Sniffing her, his voice rumble, “Witchy woman, so glad you’re finally here”.  Rather personal, don’t ya think? That is so ill mannered!  What a clod!  What a bore!  But, wow, was he good lookin’!  Yes, even with the horns…he was a doll!

I carry an athletic build.  I’m a lean, mean, fighting machine.  I wear my hair cropped so it doesn’t hinder me in a fight. (or get grabbed to impede my get-away!) Scarlet on the other hand….well, she is a bit more voluptuous.  When we walk into a room together, all eyes are drawn to her.  I don’t hate her for it.  I don’t envy her.  It makes my job easier, being less noticed.  I can go undercover.  Scarlet can go undercover about as well as the President.  Not.

Scarlet made a hand gesture.  It signified we were to know she was going to play this guy.  Get answers as only Scarlet can get answers.  I don’t know if I could have said anything…I was speechless.  The hand gesture was more for our brothers.  I could see fists clenched and jaws set.  It could erupt into a brawl very quickly.

“Roderick, it’s so nice to see you again”, she cooed at him sidling closer.  This startled me, when was she hanging with demons?  Gonna have to get that story out of her when we are done here.  Scarlet and Roderick seemed to whisper with one another.  It was out of my range of hearing, but I think Miah and Logan have heard some of the story.  Their fists don’t unclench.  Their jaws don’t become unset.  They both tighten up their fighting stances.  It’s gonna erupt all right.  I had better start getting ready some of the fighting spells I grabbed at home. 

Behind Roderick stood another demon; larger, bigger horns, rough looking acne scarred red skin, wearing a three piece suit also.  A regular toadie…and I mean toadie!  This big lout waved his arm and the scene around us changed.  We were now all standing in a great hall. 

The hall was as ornate as anything from the French Renaissance. Gold gilded everything.  I mean, nearly everything; window frames, chandeliers, doors and their handles, floors, molding, nearly everything.  The long table in the middle was lined with chairs three deep.  That way the faction leader could be flanked by their cronies.  Over the gilded walls hung embroidered tapestry unlike anything I have ever seen.  It was so three dimensional I would swear the images had a life of their own.  The windows were tinted with a white substance, similar to the “snow” we adorn our windows with at Yule time.  I assumed this was to give the impression that there was an outside, you simply couldn’t see it.  Inter dimensional.  The chair cushions were comfy, soft embroidered pillow tops.  Not as life like as the tapestry, thankfully.   Very warm in this massive hall.  Very warm.  Makes me think perhaps we have moved from the pocket to a place I don’t want to be.  Demon ground.

It’s October.  I don’t like October.  Weird stuff happens in the name of All Hallows Eve.  Weird stuff happens in October.  Nastiness is granted a little relief from their respective “places of inhabitant”.  Nastiness comes out and “plays”.  Then we have to try to clean it up.  This time, the nasties have gone too far.  My bladder is full and so is my ire!

Zombie waitress comes to take our orders.  Finally!  I ask where I can freshen up.  Finally!  I order more mead and turn to follow her instructions.  I am mystified by this place.  Walking to the end of a hallway, it appears to literally be the end of the hallway when suddenly a corner will appear.  It is as if the “building” is building itself as I meander.  I decided to have a “look see” at the architecture.   When we get out of here, I may want one of these for myself.  Not to mention, we have got to have some sort of escape!  I take my opportunities where I can find them.   

Scarlet was seated to the left of Roderick, with our brothers seated behind her.  I was, of course, sitting on her left.  In Hell, virtuous women are held in high esteem.  Recalling the tale of Persephone, Miah signaled to the rest of us NOT to partake of any of the food or drink.  Especially Scarlet.  What would the coven do if Scarlet had to spend part of the year in Hell?!  They would flounder without her iron fist dictating.  Ok, in all fairness to her, she took over a scatterbrained coven.  It had been run by old hags in menopause who could carry a thought any further than their next cup of coffee.  Yeah, I know….I’ll be there someday too.

Zombie cops came around.  They wanted everyone’s weaponry.  Yeah, I’m gonna give THEM my stuff.  Not.  I had already put a hiding spell on my toys so they wouldn’t be able to detect it.  I held my hands out as to a child, palm up indicating “all gone”. 

 Julian surprised me.  He handed over his favorite daggers.  He likes his twin daggers, one slides into a holster on either side of his vest, then whisks them out by crossing his arms so that his right hand pulls the dagger from his left side.  Very dramatic.  Suave. Errol Flynn’s got nothing on him!

Miah handed over some nondescript spells.  Probably some sort of love potion and security wards.  Nothing that goes bang.  If the Zombie cops had any kind of brains, they would have noticed.  They are programmed only to get something, anything. 

Scarlet and Logan both handed over guns.  They looked at one another and grinned.  I didn’t understand the joke, but I’m thinking the guns may have been fakes.  Some sort of theatrical props.  Here’s to hoping they kept a real one stashed for later use. 

A movement in the tapestry catches my eye.  A little blue flicker.  With the clamor of all the people in the room, it’s difficult to hear.  I hear the buzz of a little blue bee. 


  1. Okay, good now on to the last installment! This is really good!!!!!!

  2. It just occurred to me that I have come into this story at the end. I am fascinated, but I must also find the beginning and start to read forward (I'm reading backwards...duh)

    You are a master story teller. I'll catch up soon, but right now, I have to get ready for a dr appt. Later....